Looking for the responsible adult

Am catching up on some sleep, which is what I mostly wanted to do with my leave time.  Snooze, read and try not to stress.  I'm not writing atm and that's all right, the brain is focused on other tasks.  Things I need to organise are being organised.  I'm aware of a considerable shift in the relationship between M and myself, which anyone who reads this journal knows is complicated.

The other day, while on the phone, I heard myself telling M [re an interview she's having about care]  not to sign anything till I see it and she just said okay to that.  And I wonder just when that happened?   M has also shifted over to using the proper pronouns and descriptions, which is frankly making my head spin a bit.  Despite all the memory loss, some things are getting through and staying through.  This isn't dementia but M turned 92 yesterday and there's wear and tear.

It's still a pain;  don't get me wrong.  We're never going to reach family utopia here.  But it's a manageable situation, even though I'm having to be a grown up and that feels very weird.  Like that icon of yours, Cameron, about,  "Cunningly disguised as a responsible adult."   People are believing it and part of me feels like a huge fake.

( shoes and another resolution )