Creepy dream night

[rattfan]

I have recurring dreams which I really wish would go away. In them I'm back living with my mother, as a child or teenager, but with memories of later life. So I'm stuck in her house, in the room I had there, desperately trying to figure out why I'm not in my house, or what happened to my house, and why can't I think clearly?

When I was a child, I'd be given presents I really didn't like, such as dolls in little knitted outfits. They sat on my shelves staring outwards and I'd keep them tidy and get rid of the dust, because I was that sort of a kid. I couldn't get rid of them because that would hurt the feelings of Whoever. [I did later try the outfits on my guinea pigs and that was sort of fun].

I remember a stupid little dresser/desk sort of setup I had to have, with a circular mirror positioned on the wall just where I'd have to look at my own face when I was doing homework or trying to type on the manual typewriter I stole from M. Why didn't I get rid of that mirror? Why didn't I build a bonfire of the stupid dolls? M made me get rid of my china horses as a teen because she decided I was too old for them, and the books about horse breeds. That was okay, because anything I had chosen for myself couldn't matter.

These are the thoughts which the dreams wake. They seem mild but they give me the shivers and it's still taking me a while to shake the latest dream this morning.

I guess my headspace is not terrific.

Comments

[leecetheartist.livejournal.com]

Aarrgh!

So feeling this with you. I got stuff I can't even talk about it upset me so much, but brother I am with you.

[ratfan.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Not all the dreams are bad ones, of course, but I either dream a lot or I remember them pretty well. It's movie night every night.

Some mornings it takes longer to shake them off.

[jaelle-n-gilla.livejournal.com]

I know that kind of dream. Going back to our teenage years and the place we lived is apparently a common dream. For some it may be more pleasant, for some less, depending on the actual experiences at the time. The more I have to deal with my parents the more often I have that dream, too.

Have you ever heard of lucid dreaming? It takes a bit of practice, but you can try and change the dream to your liking. E.g. make a resolution that next time you dream it, you want to have wood and matches stacked in a corner so you can burn the dolls. It helps if you actually have a piece of wood near the bed (for the smell) and matches in the room so you see them before you sleep.

The idea is that since dreams often occur when you are half awake, your brain can take bits from waking life and include it.

If fire is too drastic, you can imagine smaller changes. Like a dust bin. Or a car key so you can leave at will.

[ratfan.livejournal.com]

Yes, I know about lucid dreaming. I can do it sometimes. Part of me is generally aware I'm dreaming. As in when I have the one about finding oneself not wearing clothes in public, I think, "Here we go again," or some such, and pretty soon I'm dressed again :-)

I know it's partly anxiety, but self knowledge doesn't stop it!

Thanks.

[jaelle-n-gilla.livejournal.com]

Yeah, knowledge doesn't always help but at least it helps with looking at it with the rational part of the brain and say "aha, that's where it came from".

The naked dream is also one of my favourites. Usually I have clothes on but they are too short so I keep pulling it down over my butt and crotch and it's always too short. *sigh* The things our brains do to us...

[merilune.livejournal.com]

I can cope fairly well with bad dreams that have their base set in fantasy. I don't cope too well with bad dreams that are realistic so I can definitely see how this dream was really disturbing for you.

I had a dream that I was living in my grandparents house (they passed away 11 years ago) and people were trying to break in. Shining torches in the windows, taking photos, creepy. I was able to wake myself up, surprisingly. I've heard that being able to do that is a skill that one can learn.

I hope your headspace clears out a bit over the weekend. Not sure what the weather has been like over there, but it's been warmer here. Spring is coming!