Oct. 3rd, 2011

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I'm awake now (sort of) after attending the small local "Villaincon" here in Perth over the weekend. It's funny how fatigued I get during/after a convention even if I am getting my usual amount of sleep. Due to expenses, I decided not to get a room and instead to commute in. I also didn't have a rat-sitter and needed to provide room service to the boys.

Villaincon celebrated the concept of villains in sf and fantasy, in film and print and gaming. I was on a panel with [personal profile] stephen_dedman where we talked about writing our own villains. I plan to type up my notes into something coherent since I didn't get through all of it and I'm sure I make more sense in print than I do aloud. I'm assured it's good to do things which you're scared of, that this will help you get over phobias such as public speaking, but I don't know. I was on my first panel almost 30 years ago and I haven't noticed much decrease in pure terror and cold sweat!

I'm sure it's the increased sociability of a convention that adds to my fatigue. Talking to people in real time, right there! I'm sometimes left feeling that I must be very boring, because I'm unable to come up with a sensible response even to, "So what have you been doing?" I've resolved to prepare, to do what I'm actually good at and write up a series of responses which can then be applied to the situation. I understand social types don't get brain freeze when asked such questions. It's not that I don't like you or am not interested, truly.

Sometimes they want to know what I've been writing and that's a bit better, I can explain that I'm planning the destruction and abandonment of Perth and ultimately the world, and hope that neither ASIO nor the people in the white coats are listening in. I can even explain that the voices in my head are keeping me awake some nights having conversations. That's why I go to conventions, I think, to find people who do understand such things!

I'm still rather foggy, I think, it'll require a day at home and then another night asleep before I return, reluctantly, to the real world.

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Alex Isle [Rattfan]

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